I am sad, and very sad
I am depressed, and very depressed
I am pathetic, and very pathetic,
I am a loser, and a big loser
I stand no chance, no chance whatever
I have no hope, at all
Can I please just die?
I’ve had enough.
Seriously can’t go on 😦
I feel so cold and alone and destroyed like a corpse of a mutilated seal on a broken isolated iceberg under the dark sky with no sun
I will share something quite personal today. Depression/loneliness etc, has made me so stupid and silly and not to forget DESPERATE. But the good thing I sort of realise that it’s the loneliness making me act this way and not my original personality (whatever of it exists). I FEEL VERY LONELY AND DESPERATE FOR A REAL FRIEND/PARTNER. And because of it whoever I meet, even online, I start to imagine my whole life with them like wtf seriously?
But I seriously do, like we’re gonna be the best of the buddies, or even marry and whatever not. I get attached sooo easily and expect soo much emotionally so quickly, that it’s absolutely ridiculous and I really feel sorry for myself that what loneliness has turned me into . For a grown up person like me, this sort of behavior is ridiculous. I am not a teenager or a young person anymore. I should be getting on with my life and doing the things which I am supposed to be and focusing on my career and other things, trying to become somewhat of a successful person, but I act and feel like the most frivolous person in the world due to loneliness. GOD PLEASE HELP ME. I wish I could be a very determined and motivated person who has goals to achieve in life and focused on working towards those, and not so desperate and a procrastinator. GOSH LIFE SUCKS AT THE MOMENT. MY ANXIETY IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.
That’s my perfect world. I want the blue sky. I want the blue sea. I want the mountains. I want the animals. I want a beautiful cottage-like house. I want a person to share these beautiful things with. I want the birds to sing. I want the stars. I want peace. I want to live this way and feel euphoric.
Nice dream. Time to wake up.
I can’t believe that crap even for a million pounds. Anyways I am giving up on any form of hope for any love or whatever that rubbish is. I should just stop thinking about it and stop connecting all the nonsense in my mind I do. JUST STOP. STUPID HEART&MIND, LET ME LIVE IN PEACE PLEASE. I’M DISTURBED ENOUGH ALREADY.
No, it’s not him, or him, or him. It’s no one. No one is my “The One”. Everyone belongs to others. No one belongs to me. Hey they got saved. I should really give up any hope that’s left asap. It’s not healthy. GIVE IT UP. NOTHING IS MEANT TO HAPPEN.
My brain gave up a long time ago. Actually it didn’t give up. It was defeated. Every time. Now it’s dead, or the nearest thing to it. I don’t really feel it being there. Anyways, because the heart is so restless, even after being stabbed and defeated endless times, I don’t know where it got whatever 1-2% hope. But now it’s soo heavy. I cannot bear its burden. It’s too heavy and out of my control. It keeps falling everywhere and making me suffer even more. I cannot cope with it any longer. I don’t need my heart. I want to go. Far from here. I want to break free from my mind and heart.