I wait for that moment..

That final moment when I will say goodbye to this world. It will be a moment of great relief, so great that I will forget about all my anger and sorrows this world gave and my soul will be smiling, as I am leaving the body, maybe with one tear.

P.S. This will probably only apply if I die peacefully and not in an accident or something 😀


Good enough?

Good enough for who? Good enough for someone who themselves aren’t good enough? Better to become good enough for God. I actually just made a good point. No point in trying to become good enough for someone or hating yourself because you’re not good enough for someone. They aren’t good enough themselves and are full of faults. It’s just the silly heart trying to trick you otherwise.

I am sad

I am sad, and very sad

I am depressed, and very depressed

I am pathetic, and very pathetic,

I am a loser, and a big loser

I stand no chance, no chance whatever

I have no hope, at all

Can I please just die?

I’ve had enough.

Seriously can’t go on 😦

Loneliness makes one silly

I will share something quite personal today. Depression/loneliness etc, has made me so stupid and silly and not to forget DESPERATE. But the good thing I sort of realise that it’s the loneliness making me act this way and not my original personality (whatever of it exists). I FEEL VERY LONELY AND DESPERATE FOR A REAL FRIEND/PARTNER. And because of it whoever I meet, even online, I start to imagine my whole life with them like wtf seriously?

But I seriously do, like we’re gonna be the best of the buddies, or even marry and whatever not. I get attached sooo easily and expect soo much emotionally so quickly, that it’s absolutely ridiculous and I really feel sorry for myself that what loneliness has turned me into . For a grown up person like me, this sort of behavior is ridiculous. I am not a teenager or a young person anymore. I should be getting on with my life and doing the things which I am supposed to be and focusing on my career and other things, trying to become somewhat of a successful person, but I act and feel like the most frivolous person in the world due to loneliness. GOD PLEASE HELP ME. I wish I could be a very determined and motivated person who has goals to achieve in life and focused on working towards those, and not so desperate and a procrastinator. GOSH LIFE SUCKS AT THE MOMENT. MY ANXIETY IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.