I feel so cold

I feel so cold and alone and destroyed like a corpse of a mutilated seal on a broken isolated iceberg under the dark sky with no sun

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What are friends?

I don’t know. Never had one. It’s too abstract for me.

I HAVE NEVER HAD A FRIEND. AND CHANCES ARE THAT I NEVER WILL.

I cannot have friends. I wasn’t born to be a great communicator or someone who could build and maintain relationships. I was born to be eternally alone. I feel it everyday. I can never have that true friend. Or any really. And I will tell you all something.

No matter how nice or kind someone may seem, or may actually be – NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND TRUE DEPRESSION, DISTURBANCE OF THE MIND, SOCIAL ANXIETY AND REAL LONELINESS. Very Very few people can – only those who have suffered themselves to the point where it has killed their mind and soul. NO ONE ELSE CAN UNDERSTAND.

I’m not saying some people are not nice and kind. They are and many are. But for a natural loner like me, no one is kind and nice.

It seems words are everything. I am a person of very few words, even with the people I “know”. I hardly have any words and can never talk about something. I don’t have words to share.

I am a person of very few words. And all the communication seems to be through speaking of the words. Which I don’t have. Is it ok?

I don’t know. But the fact remains that I will be forever alone. Maybe God is trying to tell me something.